The questions everyone
actually asks.

We do. That's the whole point. It arrives clean and charged, it leaves sealed on our trailer, and the contents are disposed of at an approved facility. You never touch, see or smell anything.

No. The tank is sealed and charged with a treatment that neutralises odour for the whole weekend. A freshly serviced portaloo smells better than most pub bathrooms at 10 pm.

Flat, firm ground within 25 m of where our trailer can park, a lawn, a driveway edge or a courtyard all work. Near the action but not in it. We'll help you pick the spot at drop-off. One rule: once it's placed, it stays put.

One loo per 50 guests. Big drinking crowd or a long event? Round up, the second unit is 15% off and nobody has ever regretted having too many toilets.

The Weekender is $249 off peak and $299 in summer, delivered, cleaned and collected, Friday to Monday. Delivery is included within 20 km of our West Auckland base, further out adds $40 to $80 which the checkout calculates from your address. Extra units are discounted, extra days are $40. The price you see before paying is the entire price.

Everything: delivery and pickup (within 20 km), the deep clean before your hire, loo paper, hand sanitiser and soap. The price on the prices page is the entire price.

What comes out of you and loo paper. That's the list. Wet wipes, nappies, glitter, cans, someone's car keys, all of these end badly and come out of the bond.

The loo doesn't care, and honestly the party needs it more, nobody's ducking inside your house with muddy shoes. Weather isn't a cancellation reason.

The Weekender is Friday to Monday for one price, we don't do single days, because you don't want us reversing a trailer down your driveway mid-party. Need it longer? Extra days are $40.

If a unit's free, yes, book online right up to Friday. Bookings inside 48 hours carry a $49 last-minute fee because we drop everything (figuratively).

A $100 refundable bond covers us against damage beyond normal use. You pay it with your booking and it comes straight back within 2 working days of pickup, in full, as long as the unit returns in the state it left, undamaged, not moved and with nothing down the tank that shouldn't be (wet wipes, nappies, bottles, glass, that sort of thing). Normal weekend party use never costs you a cent. We photograph the unit at drop-off and again at pickup, so it's never your word against ours. If we ever do need to deduct something, we itemise it in writing with the photos before touching your money.

The waiver is the easy option. Instead of putting down the $100 bond, you pay a one-off $19 and we cover accidental damage from normal use, no bond to hold, nothing to refund, nothing to think about. It does not cover deliberate damage, a lost or stolen unit or banned items down the tank, but for a regular backyard party it's peace of mind for the price of a couple of beers. Most people tick it. Skip it and you simply pay the refundable $100 bond instead. Either way the choice is yours at checkout.

No. As long as we can get safe access to the spot, you don't have to be there for either. Just pop the details in the notes box when you book: where to leave it, the gate code, which side of the house, mind the dog. We'll follow your instructions and text you a photo once it's placed. If gates are locked or a trailer physically can't reach the spot on the day, that's a $60 wasted-trip fee, so the more detail you give us the better. When in doubt, leave the gate unlocked.

Auckland wide. Within 20 km of base is included; 20 to 40 km adds $40. Somewhere further or somewhere weird? Email us, we like a mission.

Because that's what it is, and you knew exactly what we do the moment you heard the name. We'd rather be honest and memorable than boring and forgettable. The loos, however, are anything but shithouse.